The Angelina Jolie Effect – Don’t Remove Your Fallopian Tubes Just Yet
With celebrities being celebrities, and well, Angelina Jolie being Angelina Jolie, I’m not exactly ecstatic about the actress going public about her elective surgery to remove her ovaries and fallopian tubes.
Having been prematurely menopausal for two and a half years (diagnosed at the tender age of 38), and having put my family through absolute hell, I can guarantee, that it’s no picnic to go through the grand climacteric, as Mrs. Jolie and her brilliant doctors might want you to believe.
Altogether, given her influencing stardom position, I’m genuinely terrified that having gone national about her personal crusade, will initiate a kind of maniac craze, a fashion to cut your body, when things don’t go well (I’ve already seen doctors applauding her decision, talking about her surgery like it’s as normal as going to the dentist).
Therefore, I would like to make aware those of you who consider the slightest incision below you waist, unless of course you’re dealing with an advanced, proven and incurable form of any serious disease, that’s absolutely not part of any preventive measure. (Somehow, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s always male doctors recommending complete mastectomy or oophorectomy (in other words castration). I guess, they would be a bit more reserved about it, if it was their balls being removed just for the fun of it!)
I want you to think twice before you embark on the quest of personal inquisition, and put your body or your family through detrimental wringer. Because once you carve out your absolutely necessary organs, there will be no way back; they won’t even return it to you to stuff it like a beloved pet.
And here’s why (brace yourself for an epic biology lesson):
The brain binders
Your ovaries, besides being responsible for the reproduction part, by making the hormones estrogen and progesterone, play a major role in neurotransmission – a process of signalization and communication between neurons in the brain. In that respect, estrogen is an excitatory agent; it gives us energy, boosts our libido and makes our skin keep its youthful appearance. Nonetheless, in overload it’s blameworthy of panic attacks, phobias as well as nervous breakdowns (I will surely never forget mine). Progesterone on the other hand, has a more calming and sedative effect. The only disadvantage if ever overdosed, is euphoria, numbness and local anaesthesia (it’s been recently used to calm and heal the brain in patients with traumatic brain surgery, so you get the idea). Therefore, the lack of any of these hormones will give you a ride, like you (and your family) will never forget. You will go from scary mommy to extremely tired mommy in a spit sec instant, without any warning sign what-so-ever for your terrified loved ones.
You’re participation in global warming will not be limited to using your 4×4. You will experience ten hot flashes in a ten-minute lunch break, and all due to the fact that you’re missing hormones. (For those of you who have no idea what is a hot flash? Well, it’s like you get summer followed by winter travelling with high speed through your body. This quick as lightning, rather un-understood phenomenon (if men had them, we would have had a pill for it already a hundred years ago), will leave you drenched with sweat and shivering cold at the same time (especially at night).
What’s my name, again?
You would never believe it, but now that you’re menopausal, you’ll need post-its like a peanut allergy sufferer needs constant adrenalin shots. Your memory will go completely havoc, to that extend, that most of the time you won’t even remember your own name, let alone burning potatoes, that you left on the stove an hour ago.
Thyroid, what thyroid?
With the constant lack of natural progesterone (don’t ever buy into that artificial progestin scam suggested by your gynaecologist – it has nothing to do with what your body makes and is considered highly cancerous, and first cause of deep vein thrombosis), your thyroid – which absolutely needs progesterone in order to function – given enough time, will forget what it means to work and will eventually give up. Now, this will bring with itself another long list of 300 symptoms and additional problems, starting with insomnia, hair loss, fatigue, weight gain, and finishing with high blood pressure and bloating.
Like it’s real this Adrenal Fatigue?
Your adrenals (the stress response gland above your kidneys), doing overtime in the case of lacking reproductive hormones (normally, when healthy, they produce up to thirty percent of your missing hormones) sooner or later burn out completely, leaving you unable to cope with the tiniest stress or worry. As a result, you start yelling as soon as your kids open their mouths, not to mention your husband, who from now on has to hide in the basement, simply because you can’t tolerate him being in your range of vision.
And don’t even get me started on heart failure, thrombosis or osteoporosis (now, that should be subject of a separated post). I hope you’re already traumatized enough, without me having to go into details of the overexpression of neurohormones.
In consequence, without being able to count on your heart, bones, ovaries, adrenal glands, or the thyroid, you will fall apart sooner, than the sand castle you kids built last summer on the beautiful beach of Deauville.
That is, if you don’t consider taking natural hormones, still made in the laboratory, but in terms of molecule, identical to what your body would make and what nature intended (about it later).
To sum it up, if you’re Angelina Jolie’s copycat and opt for elective menopause, you will be on the mercy of your hormone supplier until the end of your days, unless you prefer risking divorce, mental institution or simply death by the sheer lack of hormones.